So much for bad planning. Oh well, it really sucks that it didn't work out better for them. I really feel bad that it didn't go as planned - that really sucks. I hope they are able to pull it off sometime so that they can come to Columbus and bless us with some truly great comedy for once. J. Medicine Hat, no offense. We LOVE your hypnosis. It's just that we need a change. Besides, it's not like we even remember the show when we leave. WE ARE HYPNOTIZED!

Thanks again for the opportunity guys!

Jonah Ray has been on The Sarah Silverman Program and Saul of the Moleman. Sean O'Connor has been on VH-1. Nick Maritato has been on MySpace. Andrew Wright has been on the [Still] Born in the USA tour. It's been proven that they have been funny on all of those things.

Google the rest, I'm not taking the time to put in the HTML tags just so you guys can be lazy. Just take two tiny seconds out of your life to go up into the Google bar in your Firefox browser and type in their names. It's that simple. Or, if you don't have Firefox, just take another 2 seconds out of your lazy life to download the program, install the proper plug-ins and themes to make it match your personality and then google their names. Stop being lazy pricks.

I've decided I'm going to do something really fun with Rock Band but I can't really discuss it because I don't want anyone to steal the idea. Why did I even mention it then? I don't know. What else am I going to say about Rock Band that I haven't already said a thousand times on this blog? I gotta put something up though. So, I'm deciding to talk about something I can't talk about.

It's going to be great. I imagine some will be surprised, some will be angered and some will just go home. Oh shoot, I sort of gave a clue away with that 'go home' part. Crap! I gave it away even more by mentioning what part of the description was the clue. Gees, I did it again by saying that the clue was in the description. And on and on and on.

Jokes are funnier if you just keep one-upping but see I've done something different there. Instead of just merely one-upping the original joke I called it out and just said what I was doing in literal terms. That's avant-garde.

I'm avant-garde.

*Thank you to Cracked Out for the use of "hundro."

I think I like Tony Hawk better because of it's arcade feel. I can just hit the buttons I want and pull off the tricks. I don't have to deal with a second stick so much. Of course, I haven't played a Tony Hawk game for a long time so things could be different.

Space Giraffe
I was really looking forward to this game but the demo turned me off almost right away. The tutorial makes no sense and I just can't figure out what's going on at all. I just don't care anymore.

Street Trace: NYC
I'm not sure if that's the name of the game, but really there's no reason to even remember it. This game is another boring, hard to control, multiplayer battleground. I'm really starting to hate these games.

Ecco the Dolphin
I deleted the demo before playing the game because I remembered that I've played Ecco the Dolphin a thousand times before and didn't need to be reminded.

Hexic 2
Hexic 1 at a frat party.

Beautiful Katamari
Katamari for Xbox 360.

Not even a comment. Shame on you and your religion.

--------------

I'm currently downloading a beta from the GameSpot website. There are two ways to download things there:

1. "Get this file fast with the GameSpot Download Manager. It's easy and free!"

or

2. "Or get this file the old way."

I chose the Download Manager because I wanted to "get this file fast." After I downloaded the program, I was put into a queue that had me waiting an hour just to start downloading. They estimated that it would take me over 2 hours to download the program.

So, I tried option 2: getting the file "the old way." I can't figure out which way is faster. I'm getting close to the 2 hour mark but the download speed changes with every .1 MB download. I'm very confused right now. At least with this way, I'm downloading right away and can see that it's happening. Even if I'm being tricked into thinking it's faster by my own brain, I'll take that.

This is where you, the Scientologist, come in.

Right now, I am speaking against you and your "religion." I do NOT think it is a religion. I think it is a money-making scheme - a cult, at best. The way you harass critics of your tactics and beliefs is proof that you have something to hide. You can not take criticism and are told to attack rather than defend. People who join your religion are crapped on when they leave; people have died and committed suicide while being members.

I am speaking out against what you do. I am being an outspoken critic and, according to Ron, that means that I am a criminal.

Now, do what you are told and research my past. I would love to see what you can come up with on me.

PS. I know that I am an insignificant person in the world of Scientology criticism and that really, my wife is the only person that reads this, so unless she has converted in the last minute, then I'm guessing this will mean nothing to anyone.

I would like to think of something relevant to say besides, "holy sh**", but my jaw is a little preoccupied resting on the god damned floor. This game just keeps looking better and better. Hopefully, Kojima Productions will get around to releasing a playable demo to the public. I'm sure it won't happen anytime soon, but a man can dream ...

I've always had a fear of survival horror type games since I tried to play the original Resident Evil. After being utterly shocked by a zombie dog ambush early on, I immediately shut off the game and swore off the genre. The closest I came to videogame horror since then was watching a friend play through Eternal Darkness in broad daylight.

Interestingly enough, horror movies don't provoke the same reaction in me. I am by no means a horror buff, but none I have seen scare me to the extent horror games do. I suppose it is that extra layer of interactivity of games that makes them that much more frightful than film. You can't detach yourself in a game the way you can in a movie.

As the release of Bioshock nears, I am growing more and more anxious on whether to play the game or not. Like I said, the game looks outstanding, and the gamer in me is aching to play it. Maybe with the curtains up and sun shining I might be able to kill Big Daddies and harvest Little Sisters without freaking out too much.

We had 5 people go on that night: Me, Matt Eyre, Jim Tews, Zachariah Durr and Mark Valley (do a search on their names to find out who they are). We played some videos, had some stand up, heard a funny story and listened to some funny songs. I'm very proud of our little ensemble and I can't wait to get it going again.

As soon as I get it edited down, I will post the show for all to see. In the meantime, you can go to these sites to see some of the videos we showed:

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=nathansmart
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=jimtews

I can't wait to do more and I got inspired to get back into doing some of the open mics around town so if you're interested, head out to the Surly Girl, on High Street, in Columbus, OH, on Wednesday Nights, at 10PM, to possibly see me, and to definitely see other funny people tell some jokes.

Comma.

I hate this.

The only reason I play these games is because it's a different way to play another SimCity. I only care about building up big cities and since I've done that enough in the actual SimCity, I need something else to satisfy me. A Snickers bar just won't do (my Windows-running Mac rejects nougat and nuts).

This is a HUGE problem when playing online. All these jerks that play online - all they want to do is build up as quick as they can to getting Mammoth tanks and then just mowing you down. Where's the fun in that? Where's the fun in just merely winning? There should be a building fetish room (but I won't start one because fetishes are creepy).

I remember once playing in Warcraft III - a guy started in and I asked if we could just build for a while before attacking. He said sure and then backed out of the game. He was right to do that. What's my problem (besides fetishizing town building)?

Whatever.

I like these games and C&C 3 is a really cool one to play. It reminds me of playing the first one on PS1 with my friends with the linkup cable. I miss those times.

Speaking of, congrats Steve Kozar on getting married. And congrats to Zachariah for getting me tickets to Polyphonic Spree on Saturday.*

*this part is not necessarily included in the 'speaking of'

That makes my heart flitter.

To think that a girl - someone I'm romantically involved with - would actually have more playing time than me on a game I enjoy just makes me so happy. Of course, there's only two buttons involved and of those buttons is a touch screen, but still...

Now, I've just got to get her used to two analog sticks. Today: Puzzle Quest, tomorrow: Gears of War. Next week: Ikaruga?

A guy can dream can't he?*

*This is not a rhetorical question, please put your answers in the comments below.

We played last night and tonight. I doubled up last night and I won first place tonight. I say doubled up but not really. My wife was also playing and so that means we both played with OUR money.

What that means is, if we both lose, then we lose double the buy-in. If we win, we don't really get the full amount because we've paid more than everyone else (that isn't married). If one of us wins and then other loses then we sort of break even (depending on what the payout is). This can get confusing during play.

I can get aggressive when I play and Meridith doesn't like that. She likes to relax and have fun. The problem is, you can't relax and have fun when money is on the line so she's a nervous wreck (and I'm the enemy). I try to remind her that it's OUR money, but that doesn't work. She still gets mad at me if I try to bully her.

I always feel like we are rooting for each other so it doesn't matter. If one of us wins, then we both win. WHY CAN'T SHE SEE THIS!

This marriage will never last... or will it?

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Have you guys seen DiRT? If there is any game to challenge Motorstorm's crown for graphics it is this game. But it doesn't end there. Hell, even Project Gotham Racing 3 still competes visually and it's a launch title! Given this, why the hell am I not picking up racing games left and right?

Well, the simple reason is that I hate racing games. I loathe the idea or driving around in circles to finish faster than your opponents so that you can go on to the next race to do it again and again. Yes, I did play some Mario Kart in my younger days, but the enjoyment I derived from it can be attributed to the decidedly non-race battle mode.

As you can see, I am in a bit of a pickle. Do I suffer through gameplay I hate to enjoy the high def visuals or do I hold out and hope that Mass Effect delivers graphically? Wait a sec, aren't there game trailers on Live Marketplace? Graphics with none of the repetitive gameplay? Sold!

In conclusion, I'm a big fan of Japan style rpg's so I've had some high hopes for this and Blue Dragon (in conclusion). And I'm very pleased to find out it's probably better then Xenosaga or that new Star Ocean or some Tails game thats not on the gamecube. I guess probably. Oh man it's so cool you guys!

In conclusion, Oh man the battle system is way cool and it looks lotsa pretty. And it's about Chopin or something right?

So because of the demo i give this game 9 and a half game rags out of 10 game rags. This game doesn't come out till September so some folks might give me crap but whatever! I'm the boss of this post and what I say goes! Cause this game is definatly gonna be better then Grandia (any of them, in conclusion).

Oh man this looks so cool right guys?

1. She loves Puzzle Quest.
I've talked about this before but this is HUGE. I'm so excited that she's getting into something - my last girlfriends didn't get past Mario Party, which is fine, but I'm looking for someone who's in for the long haul. Not just a few minutes at a time.

2. She loves Sufjan Stevens.
The most talented musician ever is on her best of list and I completely concur with her. I have such a thing for Sufjan that I'll even marry someone who just likes him a little bit. Thankfully, she likes him a LOT so it won't be completely weird.

3. She loves old school hip hop.
This is one of the first things that I remember liking about her. She really has a great appreciation for the ol' skoo'. Now, if I can just get her into N.W.A. she'll be perfect.

These are the things that I like about her. There's more about her that makes me want to marry her but really, what else is there that anyone reading this blog cares about?

Speaking of, there might be a dip in the amount of articles written these next few weeks because of this here wedding. I hope that's okay.