[RAG CLIPPING] Worldwide Boredom Epidemic Cripples Gamers
Gamers the world over have been caught in the grip of a massive boredom epidemic following the decidedly underwhelming E3 press conferences of the big three console makers.
“This is E3, right? The one event in gaming that blows us away with insane announcements. Then why the hell didn’t we get any exciting news,” questioned Betty Hughes, one of the many gamers hit with boredom. “I actually fell asleep during the Nintendo conference and I'm addicted to caffeine pills!”
Despite the decision to make the 2007 E3 a more low key affair than previous years, many were hopeful that the expo would still retain its theatrics and flair. Ultimately, gamers were left disappointed with the lack of genuinely new announcements.
“Sony had the nerve to actually make a PS3 price drop the cornerstone of their presentation. Guess what jackasses, unless you show me some surprise game announcements, I’m not interested,” fumed Kent Vick, another gamer recovering from boredom. “And don’t get me started on Microsoft. How about you show me some games that you haven’t been talking about for the past six months?”