Halo 3 'X' Button Functionality Revealed
In the days leading up to the Halo 3 beta, Bungie Studios has finally revealed the functionality of the X button.
By pressing the diminutive blue button, players will be able to deploy racist or homophobic comments regarding teammates or opponents.
In the wake of the announcement, analysts have estimated that the ability to instantly deploy racial slurs would make the online environment at least 100% less tolerable to well-adjusted human beings.
“We were looking for ways to streamline the experience for our jerk demographic,” said Bungie co-founder Jason Jones. “In Halo 2, gamers were losing their voices from yelling immature taunts against other players, who themselves may or may not be homosexual African Americans. Naturally, we decided to assign this feature its very own button.”
The slurs will be scattered across the battlefield and can be deployed once found. In order to create a more compelling experience, Bungie has gone to extensive lengths to ensure that every race and sexual orientation will be insulted in the game.
“Our research has been amazing. Did you know that the proper slur for a Pacific Islander who is sexually attracted to bears is ‘jamoli,’” said Jones. “Rest assured, whether you are a bisexual pigmy or even a straight white American male, we have you covered, honky.”