Zombie Dreamcast Attacking Competing Consoles
The formerly defunct Dreamcast has risen from the dead as a zombie and is now terrorizing the console world.
“The system is on a rampage. In a few days, there won't be a living console to speak of,” said Simon Jeffery, President of Sega of America. “According to our engineers it appears to absorb the abilities of the consoles it consumes. For instance, by killing the Xbox, its modem got upgraded to broadband.”
The first next-gen console to be attacked by the zombie Dreamcast was the Playstation 3. Although the PS3 survived the encounter, the Dreamcast managed to consume the system's backwards compatibility ability prior to its European launch.
The zombie Dreamcast was created 3 months ago when Sega attempted to revive the dead console in time for the 2006 Christmas season. When its homicidal tendencies became apparent, the company attempted to quarantine the system. However it quickly escaped and proceeded to immediately locate and disembowel the nearest GameCube.
“The zombie Dreamcast is getting stronger each day. My analysis shows that it will be able to run Gears of War in two days time. On the bright side, we may now be able to actually release Shenmue 3. Operating a forklift in HD is going to be wicked,” said Jeffery.
Currently, the Wii and Xbox 360 have been trapped inside an Atlanta area mall by the Dreamcast, in which the next-gen consoles await horrendous destruction at the hands of the risen system.