Gears Of War Charged With Attempted Murder
The Xbox 360 smash hit Gears of War has been charged with the attempted murder of Halo 2.
The game has been in police custody since Tuesday night when it was picked up in Topeka, Kansas on the lesser charge of bitch slapping Killzone.
Halo 2 is still in critical condition, and has been demoted to the second most played game on Xbox Live. While Halo 2 is expected to make a recovery, the prognosis by doctors indicates that it is unlikely to claim the Live top spot again.
Gears of War is to be arraigned Monday, where it is expected to plead innocent. Cliffy B, designer of the game, said, “This is totally nuts. Everyone knows that Gears of War murdered Halo 2. Bungie’s just covering up the death until Halo 3 comes out. Those bastards just can’t take the fact that Gears is the killer app for the 360.”
As Gears of War was transported to its holding cell, it was overheard to shout, “I didn’t do it dammit! Viva Piñata is the real killer! You think it’s all cute and stuff, but that game is going to murder us all!”