Halo Movie Production Postponed Due To Public Safety Concerns
The much anticipated Halo movie was postponed on October 19th when Fox and Universal Studios pulled financial backing from the project.
The studios stated that they refused to continue production due to the movie being “freaking amazing”.
“We looked over the script and storyboards, and simply concluded that the movie is too damn good for the public. Simply glimpsing the Master Chief saving humanity, one bullet-ridden Covenant corpse at a time, would cause riots in the streets,” said Hilda Paulson, spokeswoman for Universal. “We lost three script readers because their minds were utterly blown by the sheer awesomeness that is Halo.”
Speculation abounds as to what is contained in the script that has caused hesitation on the part of financial backers. Early drafts, written by D.B. Weiss, called for an outer space battle between human and Covenant forces, a cameo scene directed by Quentin Tarantino and a Roman gladiator fight turned orgy.
When asked whether the film would ever see the light of day, Paulson replied, “We've brought in the team that wrote Bloodrayne to suck-ify the script up for public consumption. Given their prior experience, we should be up and running in no time.”