GameCube Runs Away From Home
The GameCube has run away from its Redmond, Washington home Wednesday night, citing neglect from Nintendo as the chief cause.
The diminutive indigo console left without warning and its current whereabouts are unknown. The system left the following note:
Dear Nintendo,
I know you guys no longer love me. I have been put in the corner for far too long, only getting a few crappy Hello Kitty games here and there. Heck, you keep pushing back my version of Twilight Princess so often that I am beginning to think that the Wii is going to get it all to herself. You no longer need me, so I am running away.
It wasn’t always this way. Remember at SpaceWorld 2000 when you introduced me to the public? Wasn’t I brimming with potential? The Mario 128 demo alone got everyone excited. I was so interesting and fun that no one made too much of a fuss over my stupid handle. Compared to that problem child Nintendo 64, I was perfect.
But now you have new systems to keep you happy. The DS is prettier and the Wii is more talented than me. I won’t bother you guys much longer. Just remember the good times we shared and all those outstanding games.
Sincerely,
GameCube
When asked to comment, Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime said, “The GameCube is missing? Oh snap, I totally did not hear about that. I guess I better tell Miyamoto-San to stop making the ‘Cube version of Zelda. We were going to do that next week, anyway.”
Fils-Aime added, “Good riddance. I always hated that purple f*cker.”