[PRESS RELEASE] Sony Responds To Blu-Ray Concerns
Robert Skyler
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Sony responds to Blu-Ray concerns, and fends off attacks from European Socialites.
-Reactions to internet speculation about Blu-Ray's slower disc reading speed, -
New York, NY, September 4, 2006 - Blu-Ray, Sony's new proprietary disc format, has come under fire yet again. This time, the debate is centered over the speculation that Blu-Ray load times will be slower than the speed of Xbox 360 DVDs. Sony today held a press conference to quell any concerns their customers may have.
A representative of Sony had this to say, "Blu-Ray is an exciting endeavor for everyone here at Sony. There is no doubt that in the future, Blu-ray will be the dominant format for movies, games, and other applications. We here at Sony remain ever vigilant and confident even in the face of harsh criticism." The press conference detailed all of the many advantages that Blu-Ray will have over the Xbox 360's DVD format in the upcoming console war.
These advantages include:
- Storage capacity!
- Disc storage!
- How many things you can put on the disc!
Indeed, the conference was very informative about the virtues of Blu-Ray and even the godless sodomites that support HD-DVD were nodding their heads in agreement. A massively successful corporation like Sony, however, will never be safe from whiners and panic mongers. The internet was recently in an uproar (again), over news that the number of PLAYSTATION 3's estimated to be available in the launch window have been cut in half from 4 million, to 2 million worldwide. Throw news of the delayed European launch into the mix (not to mention that PS3's will have a huge markup on the European market anyway), and any lesser company would crumble under the backlash.
Sony, however, is no ordinary company. After decades of offering incredible products at a great value, responsive and helpful customer service, and a polite non threatening demeanor, Sony has built up a devoted customer base that will see it through even the stormiest weather. The good people at Sony know this, which is why they were quick to silence the fears of their stockholders … I mean customers.
"Sony is incredibly devoted to our target market," said Phil Harrison, president of Sony Computer Entertainment. "That market just doesn't include Europe. Europe will be blessed with our magnificent product when we're good and ready. The HD era doesn't start until we hit the market!" He went on, "Who cares about Europe anyway? Just a bunch of Socialist bastards is all that they are. Now where are the whores?"
Phil also revealed that if Blu-Ray and the PLAYSTATION 3 don't win the upcoming format and console wars, Kaz Hirai, president of Sony Computer Entertainment America, will be forced to go off his medication and no one wants that.
If you would like to be further informed about Sony's speculated Blu-Ray woes, head on over to http://ozymandias.com/default.aspx and http://www.satori.org/ and follow the appropriate links … actually the articles in question are probably archived somewhere else on their respective sites by now, so they could be anywhere. Just search around for them. It's not my problem.