Zombies Attack New Jersey Mall
Zombies from a local graveyard attacked the nearby Menlo Park Mall in Edison, New Jersey.
One local teenage New Jersian had this to say about the attackers: "At first I didn't even notice they were zombies. They looked like normal New Jersey residents to me. Smelled just like regular Jersey people too."
When police arrived on the scene, the mall had already been evacuated. Police officers proceeded to stop the zombies with brutal force. One eyewitness claims to have seen an officer "jab a shower head into one of the zombie's eye sockets and laugh as blood shot out of the shower head".
Jack Thompson has already begun a campaign supporting a ban of Capcom's Dead Rising game, soon after news of the zombie attack broke. "Clearly, the zombies have been influenced by this game. All video games have done is teach people how to kill. Now look! They're even teaching zombies how to come back from the dead!"
Currently, no clues as to what really caused the zombies to awaken from their eternal slumber have been found, but the Umbrella Corporation is being questioned by police.