Gamer Buys, Never Plays Cult Games
Jamie Wallace, 21, has never played over 90% of the games in his collection.
“I keep buying these games that the magazines say are awesome but no one buys,” said the Illinois State sophomore as he pulled out his unopened copy of Psychonauts. “I used to give these games a shot, I mean, Samba de Amigo was sort of fun for about 15 minutes, but then I got bored and switched over to playing NFL 2K.”
Wallace admitted that he has bought a lot of his games to impress his friends.
“My bros think I’m the go-to guy for obscure games because of my collection, when in fact I just play Gran Turismo most of the time. To tell the truth, I don’t even know which Final Fantasy was the one where the chick got killed by the dude with the angel wings.”
Ultimately, Wallace looks to professional critics in order to impress his friends, and has lost any delusions of actually playing the games.
“I spent $150 on this copy of Lunar: Silver Star and I don’t even have a Sega CD! Heck, I even picked up Hello Kitty Roller Rescue because GameSpot gave it a 7/10.”